Bertie: I am not a King, I am not a King. I am sorry, I am sorry.
Elizabeth: No, don’t be silly, please. Oh, my dear. My dear, dear man. You know, I refused your first two marriage proposals not because I didn’t love you, but because I couldn’t bear the idea of a royal life, couldn’t bear the idea of a life of tours, of public duty, of - well, a life that was no longer to really be my own. But then I thought, “He stammers so beautifully, they’ll leave us alone.”
"Why do you want this job?"
Because under capitalism I am forced to sell my labor in order to subsist.
"can i ask you something?" my immediate reply says “go for it" but my mind has already gone through the seven stages of grief
does anyone want to be my virtual sugardaddy and buy me things online for literally nothing in return???
don’t get it twisted like i respect bugs for being the best they can be in spite of their specific assigned flesh prisons and their ecological significance but they need to stay the fuck away from me
Anonymous asked: omg if baby oil dissolves condoms what the fuck does it do to babies???
This may be shocking, but babies and condoms are made of different material
Is it just me, or does the discourse in the powerlifting and bodybuilding community have the same effect on lifters’ perception of “strong” or “jacked” that photoshopping or airbrushing has on womens’ perception of beauty?
Here’s a newsflash: for the general public, a 225 bench and 315 squat are pretty darn strong for a male, and a 95 bench and 185 squat are pretty darn strong for a female.
Pick a commercial gym at random. You’ll find MAYBE 3-5 people who lift those weights out of hundreds of total members.
Sure, most of them aren’t training for pure strength, but I’d wager that if they were, most of them would still fall short of those standards.
-Greg Nuckols (via FB)
Sometimes I forget that I’m actually strong because spend so much time comparing myself to people who are so much stronger than me. I need to take more time recognizing my accomplishments.
I agree with this wholeheartedly, because you should always put things into perspective. BUT. If you never aim to beat the best you’ll never BE the best.
So I went on a date today and we went to a nice restaurant before going to the movies and I ordered the “iced grape popsicles” for dessert because I love grape Popsicles so why not right?…..so the waiter brings out the “iced grape popsicles” aND THEY WERE LITERALLY 3 FROZEN GRAPES ON STICKS…..I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE OFFENDED IN MY LIFE…SINCE WHEN ARE 3 FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES IN A FUCKING VASE AN ACCEPTABLE SINGLE DESSERT ORDER..ITS NOT EVEN FROZEN GRAPE JUICE OR SOMETHING ITS LITERALLY JUST A 0.02$ GRAPE THAT WAS PUT ON A STICK THEN FROZEN…LIKE SOMEONE ACTUALLY WROTE THIS DOWN ON THE MENU THINKING “OH YEAH PEOPLE FUCKING LOVE COLD GRAPES” AND SOME OTHER ASSHAT SAID “BRAH. HEAR ME OUT, HOW ABOUT WE PUT THEM ON STICKS AND SERVE THEM IN A VASE WITH NOTHING ELSE” LIKE YOU COULDNT EVEN SERVE IT WITH A FUCKING SECOND FRUIT OR EVEN FUCKING LEAVES OR WHATEVER… IM SO MAD. FUCKING FROZEN GRAPES ON A STICK.
AND THEY WERENT EVEN SEEDLESS GRAPES…..
THAT LAST COMMENT IS WHAT DID IT. HOW DARE THEY